Pappa wants mamma naked
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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