it hurts more in the daytime
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
