yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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