I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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