When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
