Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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