Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
