Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
