i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
