break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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