just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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