Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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