Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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