Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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