so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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