Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Panties = found
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
