Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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