Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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