it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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