i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
