You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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