At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
