So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
