Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
