I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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