piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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