It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
handjob tips. give me some.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
