i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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