Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
