winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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