Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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