i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
tell me about the eggs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
