i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
