the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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