did you get engaged???
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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