you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dicks are not precious.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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