It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
