YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
