3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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