She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
