There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
