I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
