handjob tips. give me some.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
