just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i drank out of a bidet.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
