btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
