i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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