Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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