Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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