O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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