i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize