i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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