Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
