well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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