Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
