Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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