love makes seman taste better
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
