I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
