the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need to calm my uterus...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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