You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize