the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
