im six kinds of drunk right now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just want to make out with him forever
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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