Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Randomize
