Sober January is a disaster.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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